a List of things Sean Carlos Parker is no longer allowed to do at the GBI

1. Sean is no longer allowed to make unsolicited calls to local fast food "restraunts" using the phone provided to them.

1.2. neither are they allowed to use their provided buisness credit card to purchase food or other unnecessary snacks, nibbles or pastries.

2. no longer allowed to modify the computer that contains S.P.a.S_1.2.

• 2.1. i created them you pillock.
  • 2.2. yes, but there's a semi-sentient AI in there, we'd rather not do a proverbial coin flip any time you want to upgrade them.

3.Sean is no longer allowed to bring food into any anti-gravity/altered gravity area.

4.Sean is no longer allowed to use the gravity core like a mechanical-rodeo bull, the entire room is lined with steel, if you fly off of that thing, your body will look like a fine pulpy paste, we know your grip is "infalible" and "so strong you could win a tug of war with a 12 particularly strong horses" but we'd rather not test that.

5. Sean is not the "Ruler of the nation of spaceland.", nor are they the ruler of anywhere.

6. moreso, Sean is no longer allowed to tell people that spaceland exists.

7. Sean is no longer allowed to smuggle in small animals, especially rodents, we're still cleaning up after the last "Rodent Rodeo" event.

8. Sean is no longer allowed to tell people they're actually "legally dead"

9.Sean is no longer allowed to tell people they're actually "Ilegally dead"

10.teling new recruits that there's a fourth secret kind of grennoulian that live in grennoulia's core called Agarfiaelds is a no-go

11. Sean is no longer allowed to hold fighting game tournaments in their dormatory, the cleanup from the last one was bad enough.

12. Sean is no longer allowed to take grennoulians on trips to topical planets or countries on other planets,
especially when you use your government clearence in order to get access to state-officals. Toadd is still in a back brace after Fidel Castro (of planet-57437 - "Terra") broke their back over their knee

13.Sean is no longer allowed to release any information pertaining to the GBI to the public in the form of Books, movie scripts, unfiction media, social media ARG's, etc

• Releasing information about anomolies and unusual technology to 4chan is right out.

14. sean is no longer allowed to hold "GBI fight club" it's not only a gross abuse of resources, but has resulted in a uncountable ammount of property damage and injury.

15. No more using the experimental portal technology to visit alternate universes for recreational purposes, we're still trying to figure out how to remove the staining from last time.

16. No longer allowed access to the S-SMD D2B interface due to continued attempts to air a kids show that can only be seen by children, while yes, it is a good idea on paper, the fact that you want a way to talk to children without their parents knowing is really, really, really disturbing, we'd recommend giving the show a satisfying finale.

• addendum: when we said "Satisfying finale", what part did you interpret as 20 minutes nightmarish visuals and bloodcurtling screams? is this some weird-ass way to get back at us? won't somebody please think of the children!

17. No longer allowed to change their name to avoid adhering to the lst.

• 17.1. Nor are they allowed to attempt to delete the list to remove the restrictions.

18.sean is no longer allowed to remove the uppercase from the system.

19.SEAN IS NO LONGER ALLOWED TO REMOVE THE LOWERCASE FROM THE SYSTEM,

• 19.1: bro, why are you shouting?

20.Sean is no longer allowed to edit this document

21.dispite there being a proper use for these words, Sean is no longer allowed to use these in offical ANY GBI documents.

• Radical
  
• Bastard
  
• Egg
  
• Pig
  
• Extreme
  
• Septic
  
• Squirt
  
• Guh

22. Portal's aren't toys, stop using them like such.

23. Nor are they Trash disposals

24. challenging Saahlyn to games such as tic-tac-toe with S.P.a.S_1.2 is no longer allowed, you're both adults with P.H.d's for Goddsake! you should both well know that the only winning move is not to play.

25.no longer allowed to claim any of these as nicknames, aliases, "true names", deadnames, titles

• the doctor.
• Doctor who.
• The true incarnate.
• The living incarnate
• The reincarnated form of she who laughs.
• "the juice"
• the S-C-P-MC (note: S-C-P stands for Sean Carlos Parker), we get that your initials rhyme really well, however, you should never be allowed near a microphone, let alone a rap-beat.
• Frog nun gun (submitted by: T. Mossberg, reason: stolen valor)
• The best athlete in your class (reason: obviously not true)

26. After the recent incidents, attempting to play/playing "Flashbang roulette" will result in suspension without pay.

• Yes, this includes throwing a flashbang into a room as a "Joke", you're an adult, act like it.
  • this doesn't mean that you ARE allowed to play "Grenade roulette"

27: No longer allowed to play ANY game with the word "roulette" in the name.

28.the following items do not count as "noteworthy" or "possibly anomalous"

• A color changing mug.
  
• A lavalamp
  
• A VHS copy of Grennoulia 2082 (note: no, it hasn't predicted the future.)
  
• A rock. (note: not even strange, it's just a rock they found on the ground.)
  
• A "magically refilling candy bowl" (note: the item they reported was A: a mint bowl, B: was at a hotel.)
  
• An infinite energy source. (note: it was a power outlet plugged into itself.)
  Sean has been advised to not report items in order to just get them taken to their dorm for them to use/play with/eat from.

29. Stop telling people you're a "Grennoulian-celestial meta-crisis" (What the hell does that even mean?)

30. Not allowed to smuggle in media from universes where you're a fictional character in order to see into your future

31. Blacklines patients are not to be used as toys, nor as actors, nor as pets. they're victims of a Neuro-degenerative virus and are not to be trifled with!

32. Please use the provided proxy-address for the lab, we're tired of using memory wipes on every wayward delivery person who comes our way just because you decided to break rule 1.

33. Sean carlos parker is no longer allowed to booby trap their dormitory to stop would be burglars.

35.the GBI has no offical motto, any statement to the otherwise will be swifly blocked.

• 35.1. even if it did, Sean carlos parker is no longer allowed to claim these as the "motto of the GBI"
  • "We remember it so you won't have to."
  • "We're the fun police"
  • "It's eternity in here!"
  • "WE [expletive] ON THE [expletive] MOON!"
  • "Winner of the 2005 national time travel competition, circa 1964"
  • "We live in the sunlight, so you can love in the moonlight."
  • "You didn't [expletive] see anything."
  • "you can't sue us if we technically don't exist."
  • "Winner of the 2001 national coverup competition"
  • "censorship fuckin' sucks." >

36. No longer allowed to attach anti-memetic qualities to the document in order to bypass the rules.

36. No longer allowed to attach anti-memetic qualities to the document in order to bypass the rules.

37. Sean is no longer allowed to force S.P.a.S_1.2 to make art for them

37.1 no longer allowed to claim said art is yours.

38. no longer allowed to mess with Charlotte's inventions and tools, the resulting breach of Husks and colorless took 5 days to contain.

39. no longer allowed to make "Gizmos", "Doohickies" or "Thingamajigs", they're not only a waste of resources and insanely useless, but also [expletive] weird...

40. no longer allowed to shout "Heated gamer moment" whenever a blacklines patient attacks a test subject.

41. Sean carlos parker is no longer allowed to dress husks up as space marines for use in their "Live warhammer 40k" games.

42. After various reports of injuries, infections, STDs and Brain damage, "live warhammer 40k" is permanantly banned

43. Sean carlos parker is no longer allowed to sign themselves up for cloning tests, the last thing we need is more of them.

44. No longer allowed to show the works of stanley kubrick to S.P.a.S_1.2

45. No longer allowed to attach anti-memetic qualities to the document in order to bypass the rules.

46. No longer allowed to censor things in the attempt to make it feel innapropriate

47. No longer allowed to broadcast episodes of "#####in' around"

48. No longer allowed to do anything to do with the 80s mascot "Max headroom"

49. Stop signing up for tests under the excuse of "I just wanna see if my body can take it", we promise it can't, that's why we use political prisoners as test subjects

50. Sean Carlos Parker is no longer allowed to make "Superspice" (Context: "Superspice" is a mix of salt, pepper, thyme, cumin, paprika, red salt, green salt, bathsalts, oregano, Ginger, Garlic, it's dangerous.) UGFzc3d

51. Jack B. Mann is no longer allowed to create/edit offical documents about other members of staff with the intention of making them look ridiculous.